I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Less talking, more tequila
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
