gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
