i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
