i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
