But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He kissed a someone with a penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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