I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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