i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
