Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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