therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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