So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
