There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
