Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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