Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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