Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
