So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
