Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize