just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
