I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
