Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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