dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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