I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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