Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
God, you're like boner-b-gone
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize