Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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