whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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