you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
