Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
