I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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