I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
