dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
