I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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