I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
