Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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