so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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