Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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