Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
