She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
