that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
