I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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