I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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