i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
