Dual....:-)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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