you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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