you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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