I want to walk on stilts...naked
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
