Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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