he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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