Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
