we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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