and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
