You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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