Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You're like the curious george of whores
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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