On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
