It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
