The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
