you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
