I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
